Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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