Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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