your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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