so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
