even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
