I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
