you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
