im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
