We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
