who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
