Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
