I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dignity is for republicans.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
