I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
