Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
