I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
