Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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