real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
