She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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