Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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