He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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