he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
