i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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