Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(650): View more from California

i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.

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(937): View more from Ohio

after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib

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(512): View more from Texas

did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?

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(708): View more from Illinois

i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs

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