ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
