Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
