i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
