yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
