That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
