I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
