grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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