just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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