Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
