Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the day after is always just damage control
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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