Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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