i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i've created a new STD.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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