Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
