yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
