I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
please come you make the beer taste better
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
