brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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