idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
