You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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