I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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