I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
