oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
