im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Randomize
