i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
