i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
