i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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