I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
