She said her name was "party"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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